29/12/2012 (Saturday)

In the blink of an eye, it's almost coming to the end of the year 2012. Anything to share? Yes, In fact, there is quite a lot of 'things' that i would like to bring out.

2012 is a year to be feared where the Mayan catastrophe was estimated happened on 21/12/2012 which was on last week. Well, your guess is as good as mine. The fact that you can see my post written in this date, meaning that the doom day that predicted happened was actual not happening at all. To be frankly, i was kinda feel slightly dissapointing? Come on, not a single sign of any unnatural phenomenom? I did expect the most comfortable scenario is having a light nature calamity hitting on the world.

No doubt that People who were opistimic about this have won the bet. They are pretty sure nothing is gonna happen. How can you so confidently tell about it? I'm pretty sure that i am belong to those pessimistic group, but not that serious until spending money to build a Noah Ark planning to use it for escaping. Though their actions bring laughingstock to others, but if the incident was really happened, i can't envisage what's the reactions on those who desperate looking for escape and those who already planned to make their escape.

"Now, who's laughing? This is the consequences for taking this prediction lightly. You all deserve to be perished here!!" At least, this is what's i'm thinking.

Actually, my imagination did go wild before the 'doom date'. Me and my family were actually going for holiday on Genting Highland on 21th !! "Wtf, what're they thinking choosing a date as this going to Genting?" Well, that's my first initial thought on the idea of it. I was in KL, staying at my sis house on before day. Looking at people who doesn't ever believe or care or even making fun of this somehow getting on my nerves. Trying to ignore that, i got into my pso2 world with the heart praying hard.At least, i was with my loved family members togather here.Glad somehow mankind still save but at the same time oh boy, we have to move on the same world same life again.

So, you're asking how's my holiday?   Great !! Except that sometimes i really can't stand those uneducated person who only know to throw a string of profanities and their tone in speaking. It just made me sick and i really can't at par with those person forever. Guess all this 2012 thing is over, i should start turning over a new leaf. The first step maybe is start getting myself a car so that i can bring along my family to holiday too in future.

Why am i trembling about over this? Why am i keep my decision unmake always? I've always using this as excuse but how long am i going to use it? I just know that if a person who cannot accept him/herself past, meaning that he/she is denying his/her existence.If there isn't the past, how can you be standing here on present.

Guess, i'm writing a bit long tonight. Going for sleep soon. Good night. 

2012年11月24日(土曜日)

最近の仕事は災厄だ。いきなり、とても大事な仕事私にあげた。いいえ、むしろこの仕事は私をしなければならい。それだけじゃない、時間も少ない。私、もうだ駄目と思った。でも、最後の最後、なんとなくなりそう。よかった~ 最後まで諦めないか。

いつも通りだ、言えたい事言えなくなちゃ。私、一体どうだった。

私、自分の仕事中本当に楽しいか。まあ、自分までもよくわからない、でもひとつ事がきいっと違いない、それは私目標がある。果たせない限り、私このままじしてると思っています。

時間も遅いだ。おやすみ。

2012年11月3日(六)

自己的人生，說真的開始覺得累了...
自己喜歡的事情，在別人的面前總是要扮得畏畏縮縮，說到底自己還是在意別人的眼光啊....
说好听的，就是自己与众不同，有别有一致的喜好；难听的? 就是怪人咯...

最近每晚都在钻研PSO2 , 还蛮不错啊，差点就这样miss掉一个好游戏。
RE6 也出了，但也只能等到周末回时才慢慢品尝。不过还好吧，至少我不会完完全全陷在那边。

144025036146...什么来的? 这是算日历的暗语咯。如果要精要快，那就得天天练习了，每天运用。

进入了工作圈，踏入了社会，难免会和各种各样的人对话交谈。有时，自己得配合对方，用自己不擅长的福建话。与其说是不擅长，应该说是不喜欢的语言，这多亏了以前小时候对说方言的人给的印象，到了现在还会无意识地烙在脑里。

好了，不多说了。这次就到此为止吧！ 晚安。

13/10/2012 (Saturday)

Due to my younger brother's persistent , i reluctantly set up Phantasy Star Online Game 2 (PSO2) at my laptop. I remembered the first impression that gave me at lobby is complicated and needed some time for digest. Well, at least the graphic did look tempting unlike other online game. Plus, it's a Sega game that giving us the feel like we are actually playing like console game.

A Japanese online game? If people know it, they might think that we are err..well, weirdo and eccentric.
Though patches to translate the words to English are available, but i still prefer playing in japanese without any aids. I don't know, to me, if you want to try on something that is foreign to you and you do really like it, the quicker and effective way is you have to learn and tame them. Actually, I started despising people who are trying to play shortcut way or easy methods to get their things.

Frankly, I don't know anymore if i am called by an avid gamer as my playing time now is dramatically shooting low than used to. But deep inside heart, i still intend to play all the games available in the whole world. The harder the target that set, the higher satisfaction i'll take.

I just hate spoiled kids. They make me sick. Nowadays more often than not, parents are too soft on their chidren, if not they are too over-protective to them. That's not good. Or maybe it's me who jealous as they are born in a lap of luxury since child.

Lately, engross back in learning mathemagic. Well, maybe in another term is learning to calculate in a much faster way.These kinds of thing i am interest in, i wonder.Maybe i will show here sometimes later. 

Happy 1st year working anniversary to myself. Well,Working life still in pressure as ever.I'm trying my best to accustom it but i will need some time. Hopefully,
Sending a warmest birthday wish to someone i care here.

2012年9月15日(土曜日)

もう一月か、ここに書いていないらしな。少しいだらけるになちゃたと思った。
日本語もあまり勉強しない。

ったく、一体何を私にあったんだ。多分原因は仕事のせいだ。
最近は いつも忙しかった、回って時間は遅いになちゃた。
仕事をちゃんとやってできるみたいだけど、疲れた易いと思った。
いい加減しろよ！！ずっと黙ってても、調子にのるの意味がないよ！！

新しい文法を学ばない限り、私のレベルが上ないと思います。
ゲームとアニメだけ頼っては 正直足りないだ。

私一体何をしたい。何をもぞみたい。何を欲しい。その質問はもう何回も考えて、でも毎次答えて事出でない。やるべき事は今自分で捜すよ、もう少しい時間がかける。

[僕は友達が少ない]を見た、なかなか面白いと思った。
特に二人の女主人ごん、もう少しエッチな事ばかり言えるはもっとよかったわ。
つぎは[一番後ろの大魔王]の番だ、些しい楽しみにみたい。

2012年8月25日(六)

原本有一个星期多的假期，可以大玩特玩，放轻松。
因为工作必须交差就索性把它带回去做。没想到，我犯了天大的错误。
简单的工作，看似简单，做起来却犹如难如登天。对于我，尝试了不知有多少遍后，索性就用最简单的写法。
一做就花了整个开斋节假期，祸不单行的是，自己又再后头生病了。完了，时机这么准，肯定给人家炸了。

享受在家的生活，虽然沉闷，但果然还是家有家的感觉。不过，总觉得时间的确有点过特别快的感觉。

想到工作，整个人就闲了。我这份人本来就是属于懒洋洋的类型。如果不是为了还‘债’、
公司电脑，还有利用价值，我哪有可能能撑下去。不知不觉这样撑就已快要一年了。钱途茫茫似的...

这样下去真的好吗？我的人生真的只是这样沉闷吗？

最近又玩了不少新游戏，果然还是我最好的提神剂。Mad Anarchy 后，又有Darksider II 和Sleeping Dog。不过要真的破这些游戏看来是不可能了。

看了Minami-ke，蛮搞笑。有时真服了我自己，随便挑一套戏，再怎么不好看都好，都能持之以恒地把它看完。

发现我的语文真的退步不少了。我以前的那种enthuasism 和求知欲 现在到底去了哪里?

11/8/2012(Saturday)

Despite my qualms,i still took the job. Kinda regret now.

Life seemed a bed of roses to me. I wonder if other people is satisfied or having fun in their working life.Well, frankly to say that i'm not. I'm not denying that i am a greenhorn considered person lacks of experience in working. I know i'm not mature enough, either in skill, communication and anything !! Yet, i have my own target too. Being not able to accomplish it means that i have failed.

Lately,i was like working like a dog.There's come again the same issue.It has been rehashed so many times.
yet the problem still not been solved.I took a couple of days doing what i can to handle it. It seemed that whatever case that leaving me to handle sure will grow a problem in the end. I barely can recall back when i have solved the issue in just one try.

For my job side, (sigh) I am getting in pinch now,as there are many things pending piling up.I don't think i am able to survive from all these hardship anymore. The manager did plan to hire for another person to help lightening my burden but somehow i was just unsure that whether it's a right choice or not. It was then i had a lot of pondering.

Being forced to work hard is simply suffering especially for the lazy kinds of people like me.I really don't know what could i be able to achieve from doing this.I just simply hope that the company would appreciate my effort.

I'm aware that my prolix style of writing here isn't going to help attracting any readers to here. But, i never want it since i was planning to keep this blog on myself when starting without publishing to public.

I was flabbergasted as knowing my pre badminton coach who taught me when i was a kid is now becoming a national coach for Turkey. He now is in charge training the pupils for represent their country as Olympic candidates. Come to think of it, I have missed quite many a lifetime chance in my life.

Olympiac game is back with action and this time it is held at London. Somehow, i was kinda having not so interest at it unlike the year before.I just know that our country is having high hope to get a gold medal for the badminton match.Also heard that if our country is able to make ourselves a gold medal, there would be a
scoop of free ice-cream for the whole nation.Well, it sounds ridiculous to me anyway.There must be another business tactic ensues behind the scene again.

All those hopes dashed when our player lost at final round of match.The outcome is not surprised. He's just a normal human being who had pressure afterall, not to mention being watched by whole nation people eye. But what makes our country a laughing stock again when a person who used to stand out for our country welfare suddenly sang a noob song,enraged the other country people and brought our nation to shame.

Right after few days after that, our country had unexpectedly won a browse medal for the water diving sport. It can be considered as a huge achievement as our country had never get a medal for this sport before in past history plus there were a lot of candidates competing with unlike the badminton.


I actually do have the impulse to know / learn / have/play all the stuffs in the world that i desire. But somehow, i am locking myself and keeping tied on my freedom. I do not know when i can grant my wish for myself. Why i am making it so hard to obtain it?  All regard money! That's why...

2012年8月4日(土曜日)

とても忙しいと大変な二週間があった。仕事が多いし、大抵難しいそうだ。いつも外へ出かけなければならないだから、心配したんだ。 まだ ちゃんと 真面目でやってないだけど、なんかあまり時間がない。

どうやて？わからない。俺だって、自分の事一番がわかる、たくさん事をまだ習わければならい。
たりない？何かたりない？全力で頑張ってと言ったのに、もっと時間が欲しいな。
このまま、自分もやだ。でもどうしてもやるきが出さない、何をやってもうまくいかないようだ。それに、最近の天気は よくない、
蒸し暑いと心も体もだらけた。

まい日働きてから、よくある事だがすぐ疲れにちゃた。言わらなくても、この生活、もうどんどんであちゃたよ。自分いつまで耐えるがわからない。そろそろ限界だ。

このあいだ、会社はどろぼうに入られた。俺、あそこ現場にいったのに、気つ事ができない、とまられなかった。あのどろぼう、運が意外でいいすぎた、まるでもう調べたようだ。俺の せいのか。

『ひだんのアリア』を見てから、次は『これはゾンービですか』をみたんだ。へんなアニメのに、面白かったと思った。

今日はおととうの誕生日。え、あいつにお誕生日おめでとうと言いたいから、おととうだからね。

もうこんな遅い時間か？ 頭もう重いし、痛いだ。そろそろ寝おうしようかな。おやすみ。

2012年7月21日(六)

在面子书看到有位朋友的留言，不知为何有所感触，就索性把它 ”借用“一下下... 


<
你的工作将占掉你人生的一大部分，
唯一真正获得满足的方法就是做你相信是伟大的工作，
而唯一做伟大工作的方法是 爱你所做的事..


如果你还没找到这些事，继续找，别停顿。尽你全心全力，
你知道你一定会找到。而且，如同任何伟大的事业，
事情只会随着时间愈来愈好。所以，
在你找到之前，继续找，别停顿。


不要让别人的意见淹没了你内在的心声。
最重要的，拥有追随自己内心与直觉的勇气，
你的内心与直觉多少已经知道你真正想要成为什么样的人。
>


其实自己已做了将近九个月(205天)的工，但自己还是不是很清楚，到底我做得开心还是不开心。
医生、数学家、数学魔术师、天文学家、作家、游戏程序工程师...
虽然第一份工不是我的梦想工作，工作范围又与我的能力背驰而道，但它还是我必须经过的绊脚石。
虽说如此，但我的斗志与意念能这样一直维持下去吗？


我很清楚自己是个属于偏向左脑思考的人。通常这种类型的，算术、语文、记忆力是特别好的。我的这些长项多亏我还是很小时候，就已一直被父母灌入了很多这些知识，尤其是数字。四五岁就把乘法表背得滚瓜烂熟了，华语国语学得快，什么书都能一目就记得七七八八了，还把我幼稚园的老师吓坏了。


不过事实上，我不擅长的也有很多。我讨厌逻辑，不善这方面的思考。你可能说我在心理作用，但自己每次玩训练脑力的游戏时，我的逻辑是异常地低，算术却是异常地高。此外，艺术、舞蹈、搞创意、手工..这些都是能给我致命伤。不过我现在的生活，偏偏就是需要这些。


之前不信这套，特地去书局找了有关脑力的书。通常人的左右脑是同一个起点开始，如果善于利用，两边都能给予好处。但如果在早期过于专注一边的脑力，大有可能另一边会变得很弱。是真的这样吗？我也不知道，不过真的是有这样的fact。


这个世界是残酷和不平的。有些人守株待兔，就能不劳而获，坐享其成。有些人则必须从零开始，拼了大辈子才能改变自己的生活。我身边的人告诉我时候买车了，但我又犹豫不定，毕竟一辆车价钱不菲。修理费，路税，油费，每个月的分期付款，开销是蛮大的，说到底又是在讲钱。车是会买，会拥有但现在还不是时候，何况我还是单身。不过我回家会比较方便确实是无可否认的事实。


很多人都说开摩多危险，从他们的立场看，我没否认。确实是有很多鲁莽及无视交通规则的摩多骑士，但也有些是汽车的错。很多司机以为在车里就很安全的想法，时常不顾周围，现在流行着边驾车边动智能手机，最后连累到是其他无辜的人。


最近重玩 <<最终幻想10>> (Final Fantasy X) ,虽说是十年前的游戏了，但一点都不马虎，果然是配称得上经典游戏啊....

13/7/2012(Friday)

Melancholic days turn to week.
I'm trapped in this life,this house,this streets,this island.
I try to occupy myself,but my mind seems wandering off, couldn't help myself setting on depression and regret.
How could i have been foolish and naive enough to think this would be a life that worth living.
I don't care if i sound selfish,saying i can't keep giving and giving and giving...
Giving without taking? Some might think it is agony and to me, yeah it's damn true.
I stand in society but not being my real self, you can say i'm faking myself.
I stand aloof not wanting to budge in any talks or parties, you can say me is a weirdo.
But to those people judging me, they neither know me nor are willing to trust my words...


=.= It'd been really really a while i didn't try revising back my writing. Come to think on it, i used to like immersing myself in my world of story. Guess the realistic world that i facing had made my skill gone rusty.
Writing is  a something  that people do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell other people a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it.


Speaking of introverts, i thinks that i am being 100% of it.A lot of people must think I'm an introvert, or quiet and moody. I've even heard some people say that there's a certain mystery or darkness about me. I'm not that way. I'm just really into what I do except that i don't let people step into my world easily.But, i am still me and most importantly,i am more happy for being this way. 


The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.


Let say an example, if people really want to engage an introvert in conversation, i think that they better skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.


This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that people have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant. Usually,extroverts will notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence misunderstood them as an arrogant person.Not to mentioned,I,myself too being a victim of it before.
For me,it’s just a matter of preference.Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it. That's all.There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference.


I'm not speaking behalf on the all introverts.But i think that most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they didn't see much evidence of introverts interacting with other people.
This just exacerbates another misconceptions and people simply labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc. It’s understandable why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society. As the saying goes,"No man is an island, no man lives alone." Being able to interact frequently with people is always regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.


Well, think of closing the topic of it or otherwise i could write it all night. I remembered the day that i was having appraisal on my working, there is a part to want us identify my own weaknesses. Seriously, what i had written there seemed didn't fit to my actual weakness in life. I know along my 3 biggest weakness well, one is i am a person who can't make any decision immediately. I will always having thoughts of whether go or not,buy or not,do or not...resulting in making heads or tails about virtually anything. Second is i don't like taking risks that i don't foresee. I have quarrelled with my younger brother sometimes before just because of this. A simple example would be i never perform a format on my laptop before.Reason? Because there is a risk i might lose everything even though i have backup.I might end up 'destroying' my own laptop and i am too poor to pay the repair of it. Even a mere RM100 means much to me. The last one is i'm quite a taciturn person who like to bury into my own interest without any people interfere.I am in the opinion that silence is way better than expressing by word. Let just say there's a story behind each person and there's a reason why people acting the way as they are.They aren't just like that because they want to.Something in the past must have created them.At least, this applies to me.


Lately, the weather had become unpredictable and vagrancy. Sometimes, the pulsating heat searing into people skin,making us perspiring profusely.Sometimes, it can be raining without warning.Just don't get it.That's all. Unlike the old days whereas there is usually some event ensued before raining.Firstly is the sky was overcasted with dark menacing clouds. Then, we could see bolts of lightning flashing across the sky followed by deafening peals of thunder roared.Before long,only there is a heavy downpour. 




Lastly,what matters me this week the most is my spending figure. It's over-budgeted. Why money is so hard to earn yet it's so easy to spend away? I'm trying to save every bits of it . Money is supposed not everything in this world, but without money , one could not do anything or survive.in this materialism world. No matter what we do in our life, no money is a no-no. I have tasted being in penniless life before and i do not ever ever want my family to go through that again.Thus,right now i am trying to work as hard as i can, pushing my value as high as possible.Maybe i should consider to get a part time job too.


Phew..what a long record i have jotted down today..=.=

2012年7月6日(金曜日)

今週の事は 実は 日本語で書く事が すこく難しいけど、でもやてみましょうと思った。 じゃあ、何か書きたい？ 勿論、俺の運命と架けるの日だ。やっとついに 俺の appraisal 時間だ。 


主幹の電話を聞てから、なんだろうすこくトキドキになちゃた。もう練習した事があったのに、自分言いたい事また言いえない。前に、もうちゃんと決め言いうつもりなのか。自分の事を本当にがっかいしていた。俺のでんごうコミュニケーションの方はそんなに 悪いのか。


もし書き留めの事、まあ、俺は 自信まんまんよ。昔は 本が大好きだった。一ぱい色々な本をよんだ事があった。あの時、英語の書く とても上手だったし、試験でもいつも高い点をもらったし、作家に なりたいな っての夢があった。ただ作家じゃなくて，ほうかのな多くさん夢もあった。


どんなのチャレンージを受けったのやるきがなければならいか。あいつは 私の事、私の人生 、私の昔、何も知らないのに、えらそに事を言いちゃたばかりだと思った。まいい、で、これからハ-ド モードの人生を辞めるとか。時はもうすぐ来、ちょっとまじに考えてしないと...


 あの時、もっと素直で はっきり 話しリてればよかった。


『えーと、私 の給料、3000 リンッギットが欲しです。』
こいう感じ、どう？ こいう事言うわけないあたいりでしょう。ほんとんに自信が持ってないかな?恥しいと思った、勇気が出さないような。ああ~~いつも、いつもこんな事。


とにりあず、もうやてる事をやった。後は、ただ祈る事ができる。別に何も期待し、ただ私の給料を確か上える、そして仕事でなにも無事でいいと...

2012年6月29日(五)

最近发现不论用什么语言，自己的写作都已经大不如前了，开始生锈了不少。想做的事情多得很，但却一样都没有实现。想要的东西也多得很，但对我来说好像只是个妄想而已。有人告诉我，做工赚到的钱，该省则省，偶尔应该要奖励自己一下。可能是我已太习惯以前节俭的日子了，就是做不到。吃一餐好料的时候，常常会想到自己的家人从来都没有吃过。

自己就会不禁暗忖道“是不是下次要带他们来试试看？”


想起我头头出来社会要找份工作的时候，那时是多么地不愿意。若不是我想减轻家人的负担，那时我是多么想接下去读书。都怪master的学费太贵了，只好硬着头皮出来混了。在阴差阳错下，自己选了有programming的工作，不想认输的心态又作祟了。还以为我 早把它丢弃了，被人讲了一下都无所谓，反正什么胜利，优越感对我早已不重要了，一切老早为历史。自己不想再人比人了，做个普通的凡人最好，与世无争。



接触了社会圈子几个月后，学了很多东西，看了很多东西，玩了很多东西，吃了也很多东西。不知不觉，自己在渐渐地无声无息地改变中。虽然不明显，但确实有。不过在工作还以为能持续到appraisal后，谁知这两个星期的是不好应付。之前的搞定了，但又来了两个。一个用了好久的时间，就是不知道什么地方不对。另一个，用了蛮长的时间消化，就是消化不好。老板知道后，第一时间来帮我确认和指点，引导我。时间又好像太仓促似的，是不是我不该用了太多的时间后，才告诉他们？但我又不想...haizz..这几天在工作上得了一个教训，不可小看任何一个看似简单的任务，它可能最后会搞到你天昏地转，要你命。


我不擅长搞话题，这应该别人一早就看得出。每次跟同事出去吃，他们就是好像什么话题都能聊。看来我对生活的知识的确有限，需要多加注意及知道了。


看完了『夢くい メーリ』，最近看的是很有名气的 <轻音部 2>。难怪它在动漫界及动漫迷占了非常重要的位置，虽然大多戏的成分是校园生活及 band 的演奏和活动，但胜在人物够萌，够搞笑，够高素质，歌够好听，每集都有一些意外的情节，要找个挑剔的地方也蛮难。单凭这些，早就胜过其他对手了。对我而言，这些日常生活的故事就适合我不过了，因为从中可以听到和学到日语的日常对话，不必特地看字幕也无所谓。


最近重玩了 5年前玩的电动，“OG大战 Gaiden"。以前不谙日语的我，没有好好地把故事看了，这次不同了，不过挑战性还是一样的高。不错不错....

最近坐巴士都能遇到怪人。之前是表演自言自语的光头叔叔；上次是大唱印度歌的老头；这次是年轻人上了巴士后，就摇身一变成了醉汉，在巴士里大耍醉拳，吓得乘客们捏一把冷汗....=.= 都不知我哪来的这把能耐，从大学时期坐到现在，换成别人的话，肯定会受不了。(其实自己也开始受不了了，每次回家的周末都会变得好累好累，又不能像大学时翘课了。)


最近虽然忙碌，但在闲暇当中，学了一些 Game Programming..好久没有那么的干劲了，毕竟这是我以前其中之一的梦想。怎么最近好像很多东西讲了？ >.<

今天是我妹妹的生日，想了想，我为什么会这么的爽快地买了S.G 给她？唉，自己用的都没有那么好。算了，只要她认真给我学习读书，帮我父母就行了。生日快乐啦.....

15/6/2012 (Friday)

It seemed raining a lot lately. I don't like it much though as it likes to start raining when i was about taking off from my place to work. Moreover, it likes to stop when i have reached my destination. =.= Am i having some sort of curse?


As usual, i was busy with my working life. The next task that i am about going to take is quite challenging. I have spent some time 'dechipering' the program, but still 'see no road' about it. Maybe i should take it seriously and spending more time on it after i have done my another task that is currently ongoing.


I met with an old friend of mine last weekend. Actually, he used to be my best friend in my primary and secondary school. We have made an appointment having lunch togather that day. It'd had been really a while since i last saw him.His appearance has changed, looked slimmer a lot unlike the old fatty anymore.We are on the same age but i was intimidated by his discussion topic. Mature..and i have no idea what's he talking about. Investment, insurance,cars, activities...i know he was an active guy,but this is way too active if compared to me. I was a bit shocked to know that he had changed his major course to psychology. He seemed full of enthuasiasm about his future work. Well, i can't make any comments of it.Different people have different interest and dream job afterall.We chatted quite a long time and mentioned about some of our friends current status.Time really flies , everyone had their own life already, even some had gotten married and having kids...wtf


The next day, i came across with the novel that entitled "Behind that Shiny Resume" which was written by a friend of mine in my facebook like page.Somehow, its content kindled my curiosity and  i tried to search online to see if i can get a peep inside the book.I managed to read the preview and only know that my friend used to share a similar problem as me.The only different is she is a way total awesome person than me and the burden she had to bear must be more painful than mine. I always look up on her as my strongest rival that time.I met her once back at Form6 when she paid a visit to my school.No wonder that time i felt that she had changed. She knew what she desire in her life and went in persuit of it. Her essay and writing had always tailored to my likings.


Well, guess no point reminiscing the past. That's goes for me too.I had a lot of thinking that day.Maybe i should change my attitude of life afterall.I had been acting so naive and lackadaisical in my life. Maybe i should strive hard to get what i truly want after all this while.


The thought must have embedded so deeply in mine even when driving,my thinking was still there.
I was almost involved in an accident that day actually.The car missed knocking me mere inches from side.Honestly,i thought that it was imminent.Just thankful that nothing had happened.I must be more careful on the road onwards.


Somehow,i just felt gratified when receiving message from someone.Life must be treating that person well.I must not lose too either, that's what i thought.


Having another opportunity again going for Eastern's buffet. As usual, there was an assortment of mouth-watering delicacies to be served there. I couldn't resist the temptation taking more than second helpings and gobbled down as much as i can. It was like a lifetime chance for me afterall.Err..perhaps i had exaggerated it. Needless to say, i ate to my fullest there.


The next few days was a quiet working day as much of my colleague went to KL for training.Meanwhile, i was busy trying to find the solutions for my current task. I didn't want to bring the matter to my manager unless i was desperate and forced, especially the appraisal period is drawing near.


"都不知道自己在搞什么东东" =.=

2012年6月1日(金曜日)

(雨がやんでしまったら　どこへ帰ればいい ？
きみに逢いたいときは　どんなふうに呼べばいい？


だれのために　なんのために
わたし強くなりたいの
守りたいのにたたかう矛盾に　きみは答えてくれますか


雨が降る　虹を待つ　きみの空へ連れ出して
雨が降る　終わらない夢の外へ連れ出して
たった一度のキスで　もっと自由になれる
もう二度とこない　この瞬間を
現実を　想像を超えて　きみと飛んでゆく
限界を　境界を超えて　きみと飛んでゆく
ずっと探してた景色　たったひとつの奇跡
ねぇこんなふうに　きみがすべてを変えていく)




とてもいい歌と思って、最近どんどんこの歌を歌うことができるようね。


ひっさしぶりのバドミントンをした、なんか全然うまくそうだ。身体の動くは もう 遅いだ。それに、スタミナは もう昔くらべてたら、全然同じじゃないと思う。やはり、もう長い時間、運動をするなさそうだ。


初めてのボウリングをやってことがあった。すこく楽しかったの経験だった。晩ご飯を皆と一緒にたべしたり、ボウリングを遊ぶしたり、よかったじゃないか。


私の人生も 少し少しで換わった。 おかげで....

2012年5月18日(星期五)

已过两个星期了吗？最近越来越懒惰了，做什么事都好像没有干劲似的。


记得上个星期,梦了一个奇怪的梦。这个梦与众不同的地方是我不想看到的‘ending'，而且真实感十足，害我半夜惊醒一下。奇怪是，睡了还能接下去梦。更离谱是，隔天晚上还能做续篇，到底是在告诉我什么吗？


十年过了，再接触乒乓也蛮不错了。我太小看这个运动了，它很考验我们的技巧及动体视力 和洞察力。


这个星期总算过了首领战，有种如释重负的感觉，可以松了一口气。不过麻烦的事一个接一个又来了。前天又有个training，自己身体已有状况，还拼命地吃那儿的豪华套餐，毕竟这不是每次都能享用到的。完了，头好像很重的感觉。更糟的是，顾客打来一直催了。没办法，就带着要死不死的身体去了那儿。


一大群人见到我，就好像紧张似的，一直催我要赶快做好。我根本不晓得这个工对他们的重要性。十粒眼睛盯着我看，害我无法专心地做，再说那儿的冷气会不会调得太低了，受不了，加上原本已不舒服的我，一直死撑着。


回到家已经万灯家火了，终于顶不住了呕了一顿，躺下来，完全变成了病猫。隔天，请了假在家修养。其实能的话，我并不怎么想要请假，因为我不想在下次的appraisal 前，影响了我的表现，要讨薪的机会也变小了。


早上七早八早爬起身，又跑到那儿一趟，把该做的东西做好。如果天天都这样，实在受不了了。

4/5/2012 (Friday)

It's Labour week. Too bad i didn't go back to my hometown. Come to think of it now , feel kinda a bit regret. The Bersih 3.0 rally has become a hot news for this week. I took a bit of time checking on it.It was the largest scale of rally that made by nations, resulting in an unbelievable crowd size had formed. People from all walks of life seemed like joining forces togather with one purpose in their mind,that is a clean election made by government. Many had said that a real 1 Malaysia had prevailed at that moment.


Well,if you ask my opinion about which side is the justice.I will shrug to answer don't know and i'm too lazy to know all our country stuff. It was already an undeniable fact that the government had proved to fail getting the nation people trust. The system has known to be unclean and there are too much bribes as well as dark stories ensued behind scene.


But, is it the all the participants in Bersih have the same intention to getting a clean election? I doubt so.I think some joining just want to have an oppurtunity to vent out their frustration or purposely making a fuss in the name of the rally to the government. You never know where are these people coming from.Different background,different race,different opinion,etc..that makes every person is unique.It's hard to unite all the people aiming for same purpose,honestly.


As the saying goes, " All goes well end well". Well,much to my chagrin , it didn't apply to the rally.Somehow, i just had a premonition that something is bound to happen and it was. It did was a peacefully gathering from morning but not last to the end. Rampage, accident,violent behaviour from our police,shooting tear gas and  hydro pump water to the crowd...what the hell? Bad news and image of our country spread like virus throughout anywhere,even the other countries in the world!! What a laughingstock again for our country.


Whoever provoked or started it first is sure having ill intent to lead all these happened. And our policemen who couldn't keep their composure starting out their nonsense action. It was as if both are cooperating to me though.


Why am i writing these anyway? Just couldn't help myself having thoughts of it when all these news flying over these days.


Raincoat missing? I am desperating saving money and this happen? I was such in bad luck lately.

2012年4月27日(金曜日)

最近なにをやっても，めちゃになちゃた。問題次と次ときちゃた，もう知らないよ。これから，うまくいくだといいな。


今日は災厄な日だ。朝に 寝坊した，つつきタイヤがパンクした。どうしてこのタイミンク？全然よくないな，もう顧客と逢うの約束がある,まずいと思った。これは不運って？それとも,神様は私に言いたいことがある？かもしれないな。


結果社友は 私一日の運転手になちゃた。ごめんね。私のせいじゃない，悪くない。今日の仕事はちゃんとやれると思った，なのに最後は一つ仕事でもできることがない。なんか自分役にたってないな，信じられない。


また新しいシャツをもらった。これから，なんで仕事もちゃんとやる，しないとはもういけない。駄目ももう言わない。だから.....

2012年4月20日(五)

又谈工作事？不要了吧...但如果不谈，那不是与我创作这个博客的意义背道而驰了吗？这个星期又有一位NPC 进入了我的工作世界。这位新顾客，什么都不会，但就是可怕在这一点，东问西问的。还好该会的还会，不会说很糟糕到哪里去。


隔两天，带了两位colleague 跟我去，不用说，安全感十足。我又打回原型，变得静静的。午餐一起吃，而我又好像没有什么话题似的...不能像他们一样，得聊什么就聊什么。

工作已做了超过半年，很多人发薪时往往都会买东西奖励自己，而我所想要买及拥有的东西结果什么都没买，可悲..。现在才知道赚钱的辛苦，新一个月的开始最糟糕，要还这个那

个，真的好想要讨加薪啊....

最近看 ’尸姬‘，蛮不错的，主题曲也很棒，不愧是Angela的歌，每次都有那种独一无二的声带。

游戏呢？则是在超级机器人大战L 玩上瘾了。虽然没有配音，但对我影响不大。反正我会看和读日文，大不了自己就做配音员吧！！

 『止めるんだ~！こんな戦い やってはいけないんだ』

 [快停止吧。这场战斗是不应该掀起的。] 这是大神基拉的经典名句。

13/4/2012(Friday)

Musou Orochi 2
Final Fantasy 13-2
Soul Calibur V
Street Fighter X Tekken
Gear of War 3
Naruto Shippuden : Ultimate Hero Generation
Blade of Time
Silent Hill : Downpour
Asura Wrath
NeverDead
Ninja Gaiden 3
* A list of my upcoming game list.The games all have been bought though.


Finally!! My Xbox360 had been updated this week and we finally able to rock and roll with the games above. April is just full with lots of good games. Moreover, even PSP had released Super Robot Taisen Z 2 : Saihen last week. If only i just have my time..


Apparently, there was an outbreak of earthquake tremor when i am on my way back to Penang on Wednesday. Heard from people that it was quite an impact and can be felt vivdly.What has happened to our world now anyway? It seemed that quite a number of natural catastrophe had reported these year. It was indeed innatural.Is 2012 really going to be the end of world? Well,if the foolish human still haven't realise the danger and act according to their whims, it would be the matter of the time. The politician is the most suck . They seemed more concern about how to win in the election rather than looking onto this matter.The thought of it just made my blood boil.


Slowly by slowly,i have gotten it done part by part in my software development. There isn't any impossible thing afterall  . I just need some time then can get used to it well.


What is love anyway? Why is a couple marry anyway? Being married mean you have to bear the responsibility of becoming a husband or wife.You will also need to get the fact that you will be with the person whom you marry with a long long time.If you still haven't get know each other well or can't tolerate their ill behaviour,what's the point of getting married?This is not a n game that you can simply draw out.God...it's just frustrating me.

2012年4月6日(金曜日)

正直、もう仕事のことを話したくない。いつも、いつも 同じだ、徐徐面白くないにちゃたと思った。

大変だくても、きっとなんとかなると信じている。でも本当に うまくできるのか。自信がないけど、頑張ってと思う。

今晩はちょっと疲れた。すこく眠いだった、何をやっても全然集中ことできない。まあいいか、寝るの時間だ。おやすみ、世界。

2012年3月30日(五)

这个星期可厉害了，拿了人家手画的地图后，就得到Perai 那儿一趟。经历了许多的第一次，第一次自己过槟威大桥，第一次走Highway,第一次下Perai,第一次胡乱地乱走一通。还好运气够好，随便跟在车后面也能到我的目的地。


这几天，自己开始起了变化。即使放工回家后，还会埋头苦干。没办法，自己在这行的天资不高。别人一天做9个小时的工，那我就做12个小时的。虽然搞得自己很累，不过如果要进步，要成绩，我只能这样。睡觉前，我更会准备明天的工作份量，并为自己订下明日要做好的工作。


又有一个新的Training,这回是介绍新产品，蛮不错的。现在科技越来越发达了，什么事都讲究什么方便，便利的，或许对我这个古代人会有一些吃力不讨好的感觉。


跟着我的老板去Daiso,他一定是感到无趣了，因为我这份人是这么的静，话题又不多，意见又不会给，又拿不定主意，一些普遍的知识又没有啊，应该闷死了他吧？我也不想，但事实就是这样。


工作的新挑战越来越多了，不知我可以应付得来吗？ 
算了，快到明天吧！真迫不急待的想回家了。

23/3/2012(Friday)

It's time for another blogging.Well, i had a lot of thoughts for this week,thinking to grumble more here since i had my full leisure time. So,if anyone happen to read this, please bear with it.Though i doubt that there is anyone in this world would read here.


Actually, i was playing ' Shin Megami Tensei :Devil Summoner ' just now before i decided to start my weekly blog. It was an interesting game alas you need to have some patience with it. I would say it is well made by Atlus and being on portable console is reasonable. I was also enthralled by the story too . Not to mention that there is multiple endings..Ohhh,i just hate that,make me undecided to take which route all the time.Battle system? Well, i didn't brag about it much as long as i had my fun. I know being a game programmer is tough, if you are not capable to build not even a simple game, you have no rights of critising people's work. I had seen enough people(gamers) keep complaining about the game (in forum,online..) not being good, too many bugs, bullshit story and system but how many people actually know their tough work? If you really think you can come up with some fabulous ideas for the games and brag about the current game, try to build it up then, sohai. You have no idea that when it comes to realising what you think, it's not that easy.


Of course, i have to admit too that there is some rubbish games being published out. Rubbish or not,well from my perspective, the reason of it could be these two,
one is it is programmed and created by inexperienced developers.Mostly this kind of games often comes from the not known and small company. They have no chance competing with others to get the experienced people.
Another one is the attitude of the developers itself. Even for some who work in renowned companies, they tend to lazy and procrastinate their work to the last minute.Then only come out with the results with all kinds of bugs.


Why am i so firing up for anyway? Ahem,back to the blogging. It seemed that my colleague who had decided to stop working in my company is true..Aww, somehow i hope that it was a fake news.Anyways, went for a 火涡 treat at this Tuesday.At this rate, i think that my body would gain weight easily by working in my company. Should i be happy or not?

A real challenge has come and this time i have to write a program from 0%. Well,it may seem hard but i hope that myself has ready for it.Everything that i have learnt so far is connected somehow,that's what i believe.


I got my confirmation letter. Finally !! I was glad for it as that means i have reached my own goal as well.But question is,why i am be confirmed? It seemed that the reason gave is i have reached the minimum requirement of theirs.Nevertheless,somehow i just felt that something was amiss as the letter was printed out early of the month.My guess is they still sceptical about my ability and was given time to observe me. However,there were some situation issue arose then, it was as if they want to keep me here no matter what as there were quite persons have left the company. I hope that it was my imagination that is playing tricks on me.


Well, now that i was confirmed.What's my target goal next? He did mentioned about adjusting my salary.But if my guess was right, i don't think that it would make any difference though.That's what just a way to reassuring me.Ok, i have decided.I going to make myself clear that i want salary increasement before the next appraisal which is on June.


Phew, what a long story i have written tonight.Oh yeah, last but not least, Harpy Birthday,Mum !! It is your birthday today and i just want to say that i'm proud to be your son. Make my word, i will make you proud of me someday just like you proud on my achievements when i was little.

2012年3月16日(金曜日)

まったく、次の次の 仕事しなければならない。これじゃ、きりかないよ。まいいか、私も少しで慣れた。それに、もうそんな難しいと思わなかった。よかったじゃないのか。


よくわからないけど、噂は とても恐く物な。このままちゃ、本当の ごうかいにれる。いいのか。ワイト バランータイか。どうして私 、チョコレトを買わなければならいよ。それに、ダーク チョコレトか。どんなダーク チョコレト 買えば いいか さっぱりわからないよ。ってゆか、どうして私そんなにきになちゃた。まさか? そんなわけないだろう。


今週はまたほうかの人たちに誘われた、別のところに昼ご飯を食べちゃた。日本屋台村とか、さかえ寿司とか、私初めてばかりだ。あそこの食べ物は すこく高かった。私みたいのひと、言われないくても、すぐ貧乏になった。


あいつ、本当に辞めるつもりか。せっかくもういい話すことができるのに...


会社のシャツをもらった。これは どういう意味のかな....

2012年3月9日(五)

这个星期嘛，应该算是还好吧。要说有什么特别的事发生，应该是我与两位同事去了两天的训练呱。与其说是去受训，不如说是去那儿为了大块朵颐一番吧。说真的，省了我不少钱，又有口福，不错不错。还好我与那两位同事合得来，有说有笑。


Training 怎么样？觉得是蛮不错的。虽然开始时，就是讲尽一些非常基本的东西，不过后头越来越有趣了。那位‘讲师’，总觉得他的地位其实是蛮高的。大夥儿一起讨论话题时，让我感受到不同人有不同的行业世界，而我们就是属于这一行。其实刚踏入时，说真的是有点犹豫.....


结束了 Training 后，又回到工作岗位了。
虽然又像往常一样，又有一堆工作挤到我这里，自己又没头绪该怎么做，不过已稍习惯了这种状况。老板还说他知道我有在用功工作 ， =.=|| 那是当然咯，因为现在有我想达到的目标了。


在槟城已住了几年，但还是对任何路线门外汉的我，确实是会让人大吃一惊。现在要认，应该算不迟吧。过去的事，是应该时候放下了。


有时真的感慨人生的短暂和脆弱。得知一位大学生居住在我家地区附近，竟然跳楼自找短命。看了新闻报导和他留下来的遗言后，我真的不能接受他的原因。WTF!! 什么我很丑，很胖？单只是为了这个罢了吗？我之前比你更惨了，不见得我去做傻事。真的无法想像他能这样就选择抛弃了在世的家人，离开了。算了，还是早点睡吧。晚安。

2/3/2012 (Friday)

So, my battle continued in this week except that the location has changed. I had the oppurtunity going to Intel Kulim this week. Well, it was a whole bigger than i thought.Wait a second, i needed to wear up the smock as well as this google? o_O.. I was so silly that i forgot my colleague's advice about leaving my handphone in car as it is prohibited to bring in. Guess i must had been given the customer a bad first impression that time.Yeah,not to mention,he has a bossy look with a seemingly unfriendly speaking tone. 


"I better watch out trying not to do anything funny." I quipped to myself . After setting up the printer , they started to throw me question about designing for label's template. Noticed that the software that they're buying is a lot different than version of mine. 


"Guess i need find my time to play this in depth,huh.." 
"So,right now. I have another task that is assigned to me,huh..Great,this is just great." Not to mention, i still have other tasks that are left unfinished.


I wondered how people there can concentrate with their work with their google on, especially those who used to wear glasses. I felt so much uncomfortable with it and for a second thought, i was going to take it off. Well, take it as a good experience, i presume.


My efforts did pay off. I finally able to knock the another problem off , able to print using lesser time. Luckily, it worked like a charm. This surely had boosted my morale and confidence. Not long after, there was issue aroused again. As i suspected and feared, it was the barcode info.An idea suddenly flashed across my mind and to my delighted, it did work as i tested. I sighed in relief, finally i can pay full attention to my other tasks. 


This weekend seems going to be a more enjoyable.It's gaming time !! Come to think of it, i have resisted the urge of buying all those Xbox360 games that i have missed for quite long already, perhaps it's time to buy them as well as going out shopping, seeking solace once in a while.  


Oh..oh, i had a chance went to eat sushi this week, having lunch with collegue. Apparently, is one of my colleague's birthday and we are helping celebrating.They sure do really enjoying food stuff.

2012年2月24日(金曜日)

毎日、毎日同じ場所へいった。もう少しあちゃったよ。できるのかわからない、ただ自分できる事せ一杯をやった、解決したいと思った。初めてこんなまじ真剣で 仕事をする。


『絶対に この仕事 最後まで 守りたい、首になりたくない』 って 、そう信念が生まれた。私できる時はあるはずだよ、必ず自分の力で解決見せる。そうよ、諦めたまだ速い、きっと何か方法があるはずだ。好、私もう燃える。この勝負はちゃんと受けっていました。


今日の昼ご飯は すげかったよ。タイ- Food を食べた。あいつ達 本当に 色々なところ で食べる事が好きな...こんな食べ方、私一度も思ったがいない。いいじゃない？ とにりあず、先ず、なんで事も 経験だ、経験。


そういえば、最近面白いアニメを見た、という『神なみの知る世界』。あの主人ご、きにちゃた。え.え...感じがいするな。こいつ阿呆みたい、ゲームをやりかた、私まだそんな程度がない。でもさ、どんなゲームにやりたいの気持 、私確か分かる。決まった！半分年後もし私まだ会社で残るたら、自分何か買いたいものは ちゃんと買いる。それはいいと思ったな。

2012年2月17日(五)

我这样战战兢兢地过着日子，看来也不是办法了。发出求救信号，但因我的理解能力是个白痴级，结果还是搞到懵查查。每次去到那儿做，都得花了一段时间。说真的，我也感到不自在，毕竟那边不是我工作地方，而且每次都是霸占别人的位子，替我的user可怜罢了。


还好这个星期至少多多少少有搞到一些结果出来，让我知道其实是可以做的。


RFID？ 其实我到现在还不怎么懂，只知道它是Radio Frequency Identification 的简称。对于没经验又是第一次接触的我，根本是 无能为力。这样乱尝试，真不知那顾客会对我们有什么印象吗？难道我的公司已没人会了？


看来我的恶梦已逐渐应验了。今天与老板讨论时，他提起我工作能力的极限，说我与之前来的很像，但没有把我们俩比。他这样说了，不知为何我的心好像被拥了一刀，不好受。虽然我已有这个心理准备，但...


如果我是真的有心要在这儿做工，那我只能拼了。如果结果还是一样的话，那我就无可奈何了，至少我已经尽力了。

10/2/2012(Friday)

It's supposed to be an enjoyable long weekend i had.But for me, it turned upside down as if i'd been tortured waiting for the prosecution day. I was worried dead for this week. I knew that i shouldn't be remain silence but i just still don't want to report to my manager yet. Maybe i am complicating it too much , and in fact it was just a simple task. I haven't try my best to understand it yet i have already given up. That had been always my greatest weakness during my programming course.The history is repeating again, haunting me never endless in my working life.

Mustering enough courage, i asked my colleague about what i don't understand. I never had a clue and confident about what i suppose and about to do. Still going gambling with luck, this gotta be joking. Nevertheless,whatever the consequences of the outcome,i have already braced for the worst.

Being unfamiliar with the syntax code and inarticulate person like me is having tough time to explain for people.They must have noticed being so amateur of me handling it. Luckily,the person is kind enough to help and not making fuss of it.I do really appreciate that.

Thought the nightmare is over? Think again , it's about to start. I really need every luck to endure this hardship in coming week..(sigh)

2012年2月3日(金曜日)

大変な仕事の生活もう戻った。全然やるきがないな。どうしよ？なんだこの気持、とても不安だ。なんかやだなことが始まる。


今晩は 皆で一緒に とてもすごい晩ご飯を食べちゃた。
ワーインを少しを飲まちゃた。
初めてこんな遅く時間に帰った。
疲れた！！

ああ、自分何かする事もうわかない。このつつき書きたくないな。
それじゃ、今週の日記もうおしまい。
また 来週！！

2012年1月26日(新年篇)

一个星期的放假，对上班族来说，已是非常的难得了。面对新年快要莅临的我，已开始把工作的烦恼抛得九霄云外了，准备大玩特玩，大吃一番。


不过说实话，其实新年会比一般的假日更加闷，更加忙，更加没空让自己休息而已。每年的亲戚拜访只不过是一年一次的聚会而已，不想也得要在表面上扮一下。如今已踏入了工作圈子，不用说了，一定一大堆问题问题会扑我而来。闲....。还没女朋友吗？zzz.. 工作薪水多少？有3K，4K 吗？zzz... 还没有自己的车吗？你以为每个家庭的孩子都会有自己的一辆车吗？哪像你们这么好命的家庭？


不过，今年的新年略些不一样。初三那天去了金马仑游玩。本来稍有期待一下，还以为像个云顶高原一样，谁知与我想像简直是天与地嘛。幸好小的时候没乱炸写<<金马仑高原游记>>，不然一定会识破。山路弯弯曲曲地，不怎么好走。让我印象深刻的是从对面而来的车子不时来个 ping ping 声，让我们百思不解，还以为是因为山路崎岖的关系，要让其他的车子注意。后来，我们随意猜测是不是前面有警察路障，而这些车是在偷风报信？结果，真的是中....=.=


路途中可看见金马仑的独家草莓店。由于这次旅行是我姑姑带头，所以我们只是在尾跟随而已。住的地方也蛮不错，靠近还有夜市场。逛了下下就觉得累了，总觉得卖的东西大同小异似的，不过是人山人海啦，水泄不通。到了晚上，气候可是转变得很快，冷僵了。难怪住的房间里是没有风扇的。


第二天，去了那所谓的“茶园”大开眼界了。WTF...像我这样没经验驾车的人是『無理』的。脑海第一个想的是“不是吧。要拿自己的生命开玩笑，再怎么样也要有个限度吧。既然是这么著名的旅游胜地，政府为什么不要花一些钱来提升安全措施，至少在旁做个路障吧，总好过什么也没有。整个路程就好像去冒险，去个偏僻的地方。


一片绿园，风景是蛮不错的，不过就好像没什么看头似的。百闻不如一见吧。
不知不觉时间不早了，就这样踏上归途了。蛮累的，不过最累的应该是老爸吧！开了几个小时的车。应该换作司机的我，却什么都没做。我是不是应该放下了过去的事......


剩下的两三天假日其实真不够用，来不及破关了，haiz...又收到信息问起工作的事 ，把我拉回现实了。面对已将来临坎坷的日子，船到头来自然直算了。

20/1/2012 (Friday)

Things are not gone well either in this week. Started to feel lazy mentioning my adversity in job.All days seemed kept repeating having the same issue at customer site. If not, i'm forced to do something which i don't know at all.Workload started piling up, just wonder if i can handle them.


Chinese New Year is coming soon, yet i can't feel the festival at all.On the contrary, i'm getting more headache,thinking that something foreboding will inevitable lie on me soon.Come to think of it, i'm quite a failure person compared to other people that is same age with me. To be accurately, i don't think that failure is best describing it. The more suitable word is weird.


I have weird interest, weird leisure activity,weird taste,weird point of view,weird characteristic.Somehow, deep in my heart i do hope that i can be like a more optismistic and move forward person.Yet, it is not as easy as imagined. Once it ingrained,it is very difficult to change one's person mindset. Even when socializing with people,i am not the real me ,trying to cover up everything.


The only thing that i am grateful about is i'm having a great family.If you will ask me what is the most important thing to you, the answer is this.


Seem sound like a emo post to me this week though holiday is coming up.Guess what done is done, deal the adversities in front of me first should be my top priority. 

2012年1月13日(金曜日)

つに 恐ろしい週間に来た。頭がとても痛かった。いくら千回をみたけど、わからないよ。本当に災厄になちゃた、大ピンチだ。落ち着きいてだと？どうやって？このままちゃ、新年のこともう全然楽しみない。


クーとステデイ？冗談じゃないよ。ただ見せ物、見せ物。自分の力と能力どのほどでちさい、皆まだ気付けないらしい。いつつつき黙ってつもりだ？もうやだな....この仕事。何か手が方法があるか。別に方法がないさ、ただ随分苦しいだ。その覚悟を持ってのほうがいい。もしこれは自分の限界だ、諦めない。もっと頑張って、自分の限界を越える。そうするば、新しい光の扉を開く、自分新しいの未来も見ることができる。


で、簡単な！ふざけない！そう簡単たら、私最初からもうしたよ。


今日はボースと一緒に昼ご飯を食べた。車のことを話した。車か。もう興味ないから、どでもいいと思った。自分一番欲しものももうさっぱりわからない。俺の人生は、一体何か意味
がある。つまらないな。

2012年1月6日(五)

这几天，总觉得有种不祥的预感。看来应该是我工作的死期快到了。完了，这下完了，面对前面崎岖不齐的路，我真的不懂该如何怎么走下去了。哼，小时了了，大未必佳。这句话简直是应征了我的人生。讽刺的是，是我自己决定放下的，到了今时今日也不能再怨天尤人，只能怪自己当初已对人生充满了绝望感而决定不再干涉所有一切，行尸走肉地过着日子。算了，一切只能回味，但我还是不能一步踏前，老是对过去的时间执迷不悟。


这个星期有机会和同事去了Kulim 一趟。Marigold?? 不就是什么做饮料的工厂吗？本来是抱着这样的想法去，谁知大错特错，是间做手套的工厂来的 =.=|| 。百闻真的不如一见。又是Handheld CK3 的问题，这次是关于不能连接去server。站了蛮久一下，脚都开始酸了，不好受。午餐是那儿的鸭饭，也是同事带我去的。踏上归途中，我们还谈了不少。到了办公室，已是3点多了，总觉得今天就好像只做了3小时的工。


回想起，上次的weighing machine project 都不知怎样了。寄了出去，但一点消息都没有。算了，我就当着 no news is good news 。下个星期将是我开始踏进地雷区了，真的没眼看了。