30/12/2011(Friday)

Back to usual working life after Christmas,feel kinda lazy and restless.I want more holidays !!! The days i spent with my family is too short.Back to my home always make me feel confortable,home sweet home yay.Though sometimes there would be quarrels among my family members at time when i back,but that made me feel this is my home like.I just hope that my parents didn't overworking themselves without the help from ours.


Finding the dueling network online is a bad idea after all.Now, it seemed became a daily routine of mine and slowly been eating up my time. At least, it served as quenching my thirst for some gaming but i hope that i can focus on my working without much affect.There are a lot of big/good games been released already,but it needs the latest firmware updated for my gaming console. Oh well,guess i should bear it for now.


I need an external hardisk so badly..There's a lot of things that can do with that and i do not need to headache about the storage space. It's been bugging me as i know that the 8GB pendrive is not going to be enough for me.Feeling the urge to know the market price now, i went to look for it and only shocked to find out that the price had been flied high, WTF...If only i know this earlier, i would help my friend who desperately want to win a facebook contest so that i get myself a free Ex HD. (sigh..)


Yesterday, i been exposed to mobile computer namely, Intermec CK3 and Motorola MC3190.As usual,my colleague taught something that is ambigue to me. Don't tell me that all these things are gonna pass down to me handling ?? =.='' I hope that i can catch up with the knowledge. Apparently,my characteristics in other people eyes in company is that i am a lack confidence people.Saying that i am still not ready for any programming project, i am wondering maybe the days that i going to be able to work here is not gonna be long already.


Anywayyy, today is Flyday !! And i'll be back to my home sweet home again tomorrow. I should be packing now and stop bothering about these things already..And moreover,it's gonna be Happy New Year soon.Wish that it will be a better year for me..

2011年12月23日(金曜日)

ヤバイ、マジでヤバイだ。もう時間がないから、早くしないと....あああ、モウ！！せかっく週末のに、如何して俺は会社で働ければならないよ。それに、私に鍵を渡って、一体何を考えって、俺のボース。俺のことそこまで信じてなのか。それとも、このプレジェットは俺の未来がかかている。どうするでば..


月曜日にヒントをもらった、よかった。少しでも、もう光を見えた。このままちゃ、成功の可能性があるかもしれない。火曜日、やっとわかったよ。人のサンプルが真似しないでもいい。大事なことは、自分分かるのことろ、そこからまっすぐでためしてれば、何かこと見つけることができる。


そう考えは私に励また。やっと最後、私でった。でも喜んでの時間ばいじゃない、木曜日にまた大変なこと私に待っていた。どんなに勉強したでも、駄目やっぱ駄目と思った。しょうがない、そう真実を社友におしえた。まあ、馬鹿みたいだ。


今日のあさ、Honeywellへいった。社友と話すことがずっと難しい、だって私のhokkienがあまり上手じゃない。午後に、クリスマスパーデイーがあった。私サンドイチをもった。いっぱい美味し食べ物食べさせた、写真も撮った。元気な人達な、あいつたち。プレゼントをもらった。ちさいのが、一番役にたってと思もった。8GBのペンドライフだ。ありがとう。きっとちゃんと大切だ。

2011年12月16日(五)

时光荏苒，不知不觉我已做了53天的上班族，与我所订的目标的距离已不远了。你问我还好吗？告诉你，一点都不好。尤其是这个星期，简直是糟透了。货来了，但什么都做不出。没时间再慢慢理解，只好硬着头皮乱炸一顿。老毛病又发作了，自己写了什么都不明白，靠左靠右抄的，怎么能期望能做到。


这几天晚上都无法好好入眠，睡觉也梦到工作的困扰，难受了。在面子书不时写了emo的status,都不知自己在搞什么。家人虽然告诉我慢慢来，要按步就班，尽力就行了。如果真的顶不住的话，大不了东家不打打西家。我真的就这样结束了吗？如果真的让我侥幸度过这难关，那下一个SAP的呢？反正迟早都要完蛋，现在临阵脱逃不是好吗？但这样的话就不是灵验了那个人的话吗？


“你不是做写程序的料，劝你还是不要进这行。”


不管怎样，我都还想要撑下去。要不然丢对不住老板了，跑来跟我一起学。虽然他告诉我没事的，但心里还是有种被刺一般的感觉。我以前的优越感都跑到那儿去了？只能责备大学时没把基础打好。Appraisal 时又把话埋在心里，不敢说，真的没救了。


还以为printer给我玩坏了，原来是自己的program锁了它的port...唉，不写了，明天还得在办公室继续做了。

9/12/2011 (Friday)

A week has passed again.Yet, i still couldn't find the courage to spit out my nightmare project.You might think that what's so difficult about that ? Yeah..maybe you can say that it's my pride that still haunting me.What if it ends up as a really simple task and i have exaggerated it?What if people start to use smirking eyes on me and start feel skeptical about ability? I used to have thrown away my pride and  the meaning of life but why now i care about this? Slowly,i have discovered myself that i care about my job much.I care about myself and i don't want to lose my first job.I care about my family which i wish to help support their burden.Those are the reasons that hinder me from telling how tension and pressure i have in these past few weeks.


Mixing with new people isn't a bad idea although i tried myself to keep a distance from them.No point keep too friendly with them as we don't know what other people thinking too.Moreover, i prefer alone rather than goofing out with huge gang.The Malay and Indian guy that coming to company at the almost same time with me have quitted.Couldn't imagine that i just had lunch and chat with them before they disappeared without prior notice.Or maybe i should be give up and try to search another place that is more suitable for me.But,for time being,i would like to stay,trying to do what i can.


Being a stone's throw away from a supermarket is making my life easier.During lunch time,i can always take a stroll and brisk walk inside it.I enjoy reading the foreign language book and dictionary at the corner in bookstore.People might think that i have a weird habit but the fact is i used to like to read very much since i was small. The pleasure of seeking knowledge from book somehow has deep instilled in mine.


It's weekend. It supposed to be a relax and enjoyable time but i don't really feel so. Thinking that i seem have running out of time making me moody.Playing a few round of games won't heal it at all unlike usual.

2011年12月2日(金曜日)

こん週は ホントに 災厄な週間があった。おかげで、頭がめちゃめちゃに痛かった。これ以上、恐らくもう耐えらないぞ。ったく、どうするいいば。いくら考えても、やはり無駄な ことをやっています と思った。心配してる当然だ。


このままちゃ、言わないても分かった。この事態、もう十分ヤバイだ。自分何もできなかったの感じもうやだよ。せめて少ないことでもできるいいとな。


けど、まさかこんな時、社友が私に昼ご飯をおごったことがあった。ボースと一緒に昼ご飯を食べた なんか不安げだった。言ったいことがあった、でも言うの勇気が出てきないように、また心でキープした。役にたってないな、私....