2012年6月29日(五)

最近发现不论用什么语言，自己的写作都已经大不如前了，开始生锈了不少。想做的事情多得很，但却一样都没有实现。想要的东西也多得很，但对我来说好像只是个妄想而已。有人告诉我，做工赚到的钱，该省则省，偶尔应该要奖励自己一下。可能是我已太习惯以前节俭的日子了，就是做不到。吃一餐好料的时候，常常会想到自己的家人从来都没有吃过。

自己就会不禁暗忖道“是不是下次要带他们来试试看？”


想起我头头出来社会要找份工作的时候，那时是多么地不愿意。若不是我想减轻家人的负担，那时我是多么想接下去读书。都怪master的学费太贵了，只好硬着头皮出来混了。在阴差阳错下，自己选了有programming的工作，不想认输的心态又作祟了。还以为我 早把它丢弃了，被人讲了一下都无所谓，反正什么胜利，优越感对我早已不重要了，一切老早为历史。自己不想再人比人了，做个普通的凡人最好，与世无争。



接触了社会圈子几个月后，学了很多东西，看了很多东西，玩了很多东西，吃了也很多东西。不知不觉，自己在渐渐地无声无息地改变中。虽然不明显，但确实有。不过在工作还以为能持续到appraisal后，谁知这两个星期的是不好应付。之前的搞定了，但又来了两个。一个用了好久的时间，就是不知道什么地方不对。另一个，用了蛮长的时间消化，就是消化不好。老板知道后，第一时间来帮我确认和指点，引导我。时间又好像太仓促似的，是不是我不该用了太多的时间后，才告诉他们？但我又不想...haizz..这几天在工作上得了一个教训，不可小看任何一个看似简单的任务，它可能最后会搞到你天昏地转，要你命。


我不擅长搞话题，这应该别人一早就看得出。每次跟同事出去吃，他们就是好像什么话题都能聊。看来我对生活的知识的确有限，需要多加注意及知道了。


看完了『夢くい メーリ』，最近看的是很有名气的 <轻音部 2>。难怪它在动漫界及动漫迷占了非常重要的位置，虽然大多戏的成分是校园生活及 band 的演奏和活动，但胜在人物够萌，够搞笑，够高素质，歌够好听，每集都有一些意外的情节，要找个挑剔的地方也蛮难。单凭这些，早就胜过其他对手了。对我而言，这些日常生活的故事就适合我不过了，因为从中可以听到和学到日语的日常对话，不必特地看字幕也无所谓。


最近重玩了 5年前玩的电动，“OG大战 Gaiden"。以前不谙日语的我，没有好好地把故事看了，这次不同了，不过挑战性还是一样的高。不错不错....

最近坐巴士都能遇到怪人。之前是表演自言自语的光头叔叔；上次是大唱印度歌的老头；这次是年轻人上了巴士后，就摇身一变成了醉汉，在巴士里大耍醉拳，吓得乘客们捏一把冷汗....=.= 都不知我哪来的这把能耐，从大学时期坐到现在，换成别人的话，肯定会受不了。(其实自己也开始受不了了，每次回家的周末都会变得好累好累，又不能像大学时翘课了。)


最近虽然忙碌，但在闲暇当中，学了一些 Game Programming..好久没有那么的干劲了，毕竟这是我以前其中之一的梦想。怎么最近好像很多东西讲了？ >.<

今天是我妹妹的生日，想了想，我为什么会这么的爽快地买了S.G 给她？唉，自己用的都没有那么好。算了，只要她认真给我学习读书，帮我父母就行了。生日快乐啦.....

15/6/2012 (Friday)

It seemed raining a lot lately. I don't like it much though as it likes to start raining when i was about taking off from my place to work. Moreover, it likes to stop when i have reached my destination. =.= Am i having some sort of curse?


As usual, i was busy with my working life. The next task that i am about going to take is quite challenging. I have spent some time 'dechipering' the program, but still 'see no road' about it. Maybe i should take it seriously and spending more time on it after i have done my another task that is currently ongoing.


I met with an old friend of mine last weekend. Actually, he used to be my best friend in my primary and secondary school. We have made an appointment having lunch togather that day. It'd had been really a while since i last saw him.His appearance has changed, looked slimmer a lot unlike the old fatty anymore.We are on the same age but i was intimidated by his discussion topic. Mature..and i have no idea what's he talking about. Investment, insurance,cars, activities...i know he was an active guy,but this is way too active if compared to me. I was a bit shocked to know that he had changed his major course to psychology. He seemed full of enthuasiasm about his future work. Well, i can't make any comments of it.Different people have different interest and dream job afterall.We chatted quite a long time and mentioned about some of our friends current status.Time really flies , everyone had their own life already, even some had gotten married and having kids...wtf


The next day, i came across with the novel that entitled "Behind that Shiny Resume" which was written by a friend of mine in my facebook like page.Somehow, its content kindled my curiosity and  i tried to search online to see if i can get a peep inside the book.I managed to read the preview and only know that my friend used to share a similar problem as me.The only different is she is a way total awesome person than me and the burden she had to bear must be more painful than mine. I always look up on her as my strongest rival that time.I met her once back at Form6 when she paid a visit to my school.No wonder that time i felt that she had changed. She knew what she desire in her life and went in persuit of it. Her essay and writing had always tailored to my likings.


Well, guess no point reminiscing the past. That's goes for me too.I had a lot of thinking that day.Maybe i should change my attitude of life afterall.I had been acting so naive and lackadaisical in my life. Maybe i should strive hard to get what i truly want after all this while.


The thought must have embedded so deeply in mine even when driving,my thinking was still there.
I was almost involved in an accident that day actually.The car missed knocking me mere inches from side.Honestly,i thought that it was imminent.Just thankful that nothing had happened.I must be more careful on the road onwards.


Somehow,i just felt gratified when receiving message from someone.Life must be treating that person well.I must not lose too either, that's what i thought.


Having another opportunity again going for Eastern's buffet. As usual, there was an assortment of mouth-watering delicacies to be served there. I couldn't resist the temptation taking more than second helpings and gobbled down as much as i can. It was like a lifetime chance for me afterall.Err..perhaps i had exaggerated it. Needless to say, i ate to my fullest there.


The next few days was a quiet working day as much of my colleague went to KL for training.Meanwhile, i was busy trying to find the solutions for my current task. I didn't want to bring the matter to my manager unless i was desperate and forced, especially the appraisal period is drawing near.


"都不知道自己在搞什么东东" =.=

2012年6月1日(金曜日)

(雨がやんでしまったら　どこへ帰ればいい ？
きみに逢いたいときは　どんなふうに呼べばいい？


だれのために　なんのために
わたし強くなりたいの
守りたいのにたたかう矛盾に　きみは答えてくれますか


雨が降る　虹を待つ　きみの空へ連れ出して
雨が降る　終わらない夢の外へ連れ出して
たった一度のキスで　もっと自由になれる
もう二度とこない　この瞬間を
現実を　想像を超えて　きみと飛んでゆく
限界を　境界を超えて　きみと飛んでゆく
ずっと探してた景色　たったひとつの奇跡
ねぇこんなふうに　きみがすべてを変えていく)




とてもいい歌と思って、最近どんどんこの歌を歌うことができるようね。


ひっさしぶりのバドミントンをした、なんか全然うまくそうだ。身体の動くは もう 遅いだ。それに、スタミナは もう昔くらべてたら、全然同じじゃないと思う。やはり、もう長い時間、運動をするなさそうだ。


初めてのボウリングをやってことがあった。すこく楽しかったの経験だった。晩ご飯を皆と一緒にたべしたり、ボウリングを遊ぶしたり、よかったじゃないか。


私の人生も 少し少しで換わった。 おかげで....