Melancholic days turn to week.
I'm trapped in this life,this house,this streets,this island.
I try to occupy myself,but my mind seems wandering off, couldn't help myself setting on depression and regret.
How could i have been foolish and naive enough to think this would be a life that worth living.
I don't care if i sound selfish,saying i can't keep giving and giving and giving...
Giving without taking? Some might think it is agony and to me, yeah it's damn true.
I stand in society but not being my real self, you can say i'm faking myself.
I stand aloof not wanting to budge in any talks or parties, you can say me is a weirdo.
But to those people judging me, they neither know me nor are willing to trust my words...
=.= It'd been really really a while i didn't try revising back my writing. Come to think on it, i used to like immersing myself in my world of story. Guess the realistic world that i facing had made my skill gone rusty.
Writing is a something that people do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell other people a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it.
Speaking of introverts, i thinks that i am being 100% of it.A lot of people must think I'm an introvert, or quiet and moody. I've even heard some people say that there's a certain mystery or darkness about me. I'm not that way. I'm just really into what I do except that i don't let people step into my world easily.But, i am still me and most importantly,i am more happy for being this way.
The reason why the majority of people think that there’s something wrong with introverts is because the majority of people aren’t very knowledgeable when it comes to introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.
Let say an example, if people really want to engage an introvert in conversation, i think that they better skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.
This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that people have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant. Usually,extroverts will notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence misunderstood them as an arrogant person.Not to mentioned,I,myself too being a victim of it before.
For me,it’s just a matter of preference.Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it. That's all.There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference.
I'm not speaking behalf on the all introverts.But i think that most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they didn't see much evidence of introverts interacting with other people.
This just exacerbates another misconceptions and people simply labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc. It’s understandable why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society. As the saying goes,"No man is an island, no man lives alone." Being able to interact frequently with people is always regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.
Well, think of closing the topic of it or otherwise i could write it all night. I remembered the day that i was having appraisal on my working, there is a part to want us identify my own weaknesses. Seriously, what i had written there seemed didn't fit to my actual weakness in life. I know along my 3 biggest weakness well, one is i am a person who can't make any decision immediately. I will always having thoughts of whether go or not,buy or not,do or not...resulting in making heads or tails about virtually anything. Second is i don't like taking risks that i don't foresee. I have quarrelled with my younger brother sometimes before just because of this. A simple example would be i never perform a format on my laptop before.Reason? Because there is a risk i might lose everything even though i have backup.I might end up 'destroying' my own laptop and i am too poor to pay the repair of it. Even a mere RM100 means much to me. The last one is i'm quite a taciturn person who like to bury into my own interest without any people interfere.I am in the opinion that silence is way better than expressing by word. Let just say there's a story behind each person and there's a reason why people acting the way as they are.They aren't just like that because they want to.Something in the past must have created them.At least, this applies to me.
Lately, the weather had become unpredictable and vagrancy. Sometimes, the pulsating heat searing into people skin,making us perspiring profusely.Sometimes, it can be raining without warning.Just don't get it.That's all. Unlike the old days whereas there is usually some event ensued before raining.Firstly is the sky was overcasted with dark menacing clouds. Then, we could see bolts of lightning flashing across the sky followed by deafening peals of thunder roared.Before long,only there is a heavy downpour.
Lastly,what matters me this week the most is my spending figure. It's over-budgeted. Why money is so hard to earn yet it's so easy to spend away? I'm trying to save every bits of it . Money is supposed not everything in this world, but without money , one could not do anything or survive.in this materialism world. No matter what we do in our life, no money is a no-no. I have tasted being in penniless life before and i do not ever ever want my family to go through that again.Thus,right now i am trying to work as hard as i can, pushing my value as high as possible.Maybe i should consider to get a part time job too.
Phew..what a long record i have jotted down today..=.=
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